of loyalty and motives
by saunatonttu
Summary: A look into one of the reasons Gokudera Hayato despises Irie Shouichi. TYL arc. Rated T for excessive cussing.


**title:** of loyalty and motives

**words:** 1,669

**rating:** T, for excessive cussing.

**characters:** Gokudera Hayato, Irie Shouichi, hinted Tsuna, hinted Byakuran. Slight hints of 10051 if you wish to view it that way.

**summary:** A look into one of the reasons Gokudera dislikes Irie Shouichi.

* * *

Loyalty is a pretty fucking thing in his books – and despite whatever the hell anyone says, it's hard to earn Gokudera Hayato's unquestioning and doubtless loyalty that could possibly have him do some pretty fucked up stuff for the sake of the object of his loyalties.

No, even if it's a terribly abrupt decision on his part, and only partially due to the laws of the mafia, Gokudera Hayato pledged his loyalty for the Vongola Decimo –_Tenth_, as Hayato called him oh-so-reverently and with a sparkling gaze that Edward Cullen would be sure to envy – Hayato had given the young, fragile teen his soul in the most figurative senses possible and declared that he would follow Tenth until death did them part, despite the awkward expression that had crept on Tsuna's face upon that declaration, which Hayato had promptly ignored.

While that proclamation had been half-hearted back then, somehow that tiniest bit of trust had blossomed between them, and when the Varia came around, Gokudera Hayato was willing to waste his life on the retrieval of that too-fucking-shiny ring that was and still is the greatest piece of jewellery anyone could possibly ever be able to wear and that also works as a damn good weapon if you need something to stick into a baseball idiot's eyes.

_(Said idiot dodged the first and only attempt, sadly.)_

But he had not _died_, he had come back from the fight for the sake of his Tenth, for the sake of their friends, and no matter how mushy that made him sound, he really did agree with Tsuna – there was no point if any of them _died_ in that mess of battles and Xanxus' violently idiotic (brilliant was the word he never wanted to join with Xanxus, fuck no) plotting and whatever fuck went through that brat's mind.

Anyway, the point of this useless inner monologue or soliloquy worthy of being revered as the modern Hamlet's woes was the loyalty ranked high in his books, along with trust which he gave next to no one, asides from Tsuna and selected few others.

For him, loyalty means everything. Loyalty to the Tenth, to be more precise. Loyalty to his friends, more or less – even if his loyalties seem to be as fickle and turbulent as a raging storm if his equally stormy past is inspected even the slightest bit.

He'd go _so_ damn far for Tsuna, for their friends, and he wouldn't give a second thought about it.

And perhaps this, his own undying loyalty for the Tenth, is one of the reasons he can't stand Irie Shouichi _at all._ The other reasons, of course, include the whole _I'm going to try to kill you and get the Vongola Rings but not really 'cause I'm on your side hahahaha sparkle sparkle motherfuckers_ thing that Irie Shouichi has had going on through the whole Melone Base invasion.

Except perhaps not the _sparkle sparkle motherfuckers _thing...

...until Tsuna accepts him, that is, and Hayato tries his best not to strangle the guy for that smile that is straight from a Pepsodent commercial. (He sees Hibari narrowing his eyes, and for the first time since forever, Gokudera Hayato sort of wants to see the goddamn violence-addicted sorry excuse for a human being smash a human's head in. A human with the name of Irie, that is.)

Well, _maybe_ he is exaggerating just the slightest.

For Tenth's sake, he does not commit a first degree murder, although he really, really _wants _to.

But anyway – he thinks this loyalty issue is the one thing that keeps him from actually liking the guy – well, asides from how utterly _pathetic_ Irie is with his anxiety-induced stomach aches and whatnot – and while he acknowledges this, he does not do anything to change it.

That freaking four-eyed engineer freak has betrayed Byakuran so damn easily, like it was some sort of motherfucking performance to get points off from.

(So, he curses a lot, so what? That Rapunzel of the Varia and the sick bastard of Rapunzel's boss do it much more often.)

It's like the guy has no conscience – and heck, Gokudera's pretty sure Irie is supposed to be old friends with Byakuran because _heck_, they planned this sick game that has been lamely labeled as _Choice_ with a capital C and underlying issues with violence and Irie's sick and cliché war enthusiasm.

Or this is what he thinks at first, but there are instances where he sees Irie flinch at the smallest and most innocent (_ha, since when has anything with that psychopath of a leader been anything even relatively innocent_) remarks about Byakuran, and those green eyes would dim suspiciously like the engineer just sank into another world, another time, or perhaps-

And those times warrant his suspicions, Gokudera thinks with growing urge to slam the man against the nearest wall and demand what the hell he's doing and if he's there to sneak into their lines and then report to Byakuran when no one's watching.

He wonders if Tsuna can see the way Irie's shoulders sink lower and lower whenever he comes to visit the Vongola base to update Reborn on whatever it is that he and Spanner are making – he wonders if the Tenth can see how Irie's eyes look haunted enough to belong to a ghost that haunts houses or cemetaries just because his life had been miserable and afterlife refused to accept him.

Irie has claimed to be on their side – but Gokudera doesn't trust those words. Trusting Irie would be just as stupid as trusting Rokudo Mukuro, and God knows Gokudera still harbors hatred for the time his body had been taken advantage of for the sake of possessing the Tenth.

Anyway, the point is – he sees the way Irie hides _something_ concerning him and Byakuran, he _sees_ how Irie's lips curve down when he explains what Choice is, and he's also there the whole time when Irie _doesn't_ explain Byakuran's power and the reasons this world is such a wreck.

By the time Choice ends and the engineer finally opens his verbal chest of wonderfully self-resentful stories, it's already too fucking late.

He catches the words _those were the best years of my life_ accompanied with a laughter so sad that even the most hard-hearted criminal (he would know because he _is_ one) would feel bad for him, and Gokudera sort of feels for him. But then he reminds himself that _fuck, this is Byakuran, this is Millefiore, and freaking Irie has kept this from us for too long_ and he snaps himself back together and glares up at Byakuran and his lackeys because there's something terribly wrong with this guy if he's willing to let his friend from university die a worthless death.

He silently gets why it has been so easy for Irie to break away from his boss – and just as silently, Gokudera respects the guy for sticking up for the rest of the mankind.

A quick fastforward to the final battle, to the scene where the Tenth is totally kicking the daylights out of Byakuran who actually deserves the title of Biggest Jerk in the World.

Gokudera obviously watches the battle, but he listens to Irie's irregular breathing from his side – and for a moment, he's fooled to think that it's his injury that causes the redhead so much pain. Well, until he breaks his gaze from Tsuna and actually _looks_ at Irie, and sees how pale he looks, how those red bangs descend to cover his eyes that are on Byakuran. They're on Tsuna, too, but mostly on the psycho.

It's about as heartbreaking as watching Titanic, he idly muses as he makes a cliché 'tsk' under his breath, though in this case there is no Jack nor Rose and certainly no sinking ship.

There's only the bastard Byakuran and Irie who looks like he's about to have an aneurysm or a panic attack and _is that a tear on his cheek, is he actually crying _and Gokudera almost hates Irie for all of it because none of it (except the painfully tangible _hope_ that shines on his face) is for the Tenth and everything is for Byakuran.

He thinks that if this were a movie, Irie would win a damn Oscar for the sheer emotion his pathetic self induces in other people – it's just as pathetic as Gokudera had been before meeting the Tenth.

Except that Gokudera had been more violent in his pathetic ways.

(_He still is._)

He can see the exact moment Irie's heart breaks (well, the last piece of his heart anyway, because Gokudera's pretty sure Irie has been broken for a long time; it takes a broken person to know one) and he almost reaches out to punch Irie in the face _because god-fucking-dammit, the Tenth won, can't you just be happy about it, too. _

It's the day later from that moment that they set off to leave this creepy future, and Irie is all smiles again, though Gokudera is pretty sure that smile isn't nearly as happy as it once had been, during those _best years_ Irie had spoken of.

Gokudera doesn't really give a crap about other people, but suddenly he thinks he understands Shouichi a little better than he did before.

Shouichi had never been loyal to his _boss_, the Millefiore's Byakuran, as much as he had been loyal to the friend he had once had – and Gokudera's heart swells inexplicably because what would _he _do if Tsuna became like that _oh god what would he do-_

Gokudera mentally kicks himself.

The Tenth is a great man – there's no way he'd ever end up like Byakuran.

"Thank you for everything," Shouichi smiles at them, and Gokudera almost flinches – it's as if the engineer's smile is an answer to his internal debate.

_That's what I thought, too, once upon a time. _

Gokudera Hayato really hates tear-jerkers.


End file.
